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An Effective Way to Cope with Being Dumped
12/24/2008 - By Terez Williamson Being dumped, to be frank, sucks.
However, we can make matters even worse by letting the hurt, fear, panic and desperation that we feel at being dumped influence us into behaving in negative ways.
These behaviors can be self-destructive, and only serve to alienate our ex even further.
Examples of these negative behaviors are:
*taunt and start arguments with our ex
*behave like a stalker
*try to make our ex jealous
*overeat
*start to abuse alcohol and/or other substances
*neglect hobbies and other outside interests
*shut out loved ones and friends
The good news is that there is another way we can choose to cope with a break up that will not only help the healing process, but bolster our self-esteem in the process.
The information that follows is recommended by one of the best guides on relationships, The Magic of Making Up by T. W. Jackson.
Clear Your Head
Bottom line: one of the most effective ways of dealing with being dumped it is to cut off all communication with the ex for at least 30 days.
Yes, you read that right, 30 days (minimum).
That means no communication with the ex by phone, letter, text or email.
If you are in a situation where you work with your ex or are in close proximity with them, keep your communication with them strictly on a professional level.
Why?
My sincere belief is that putting distance between you and your ex will allow your mind to clear.
Time apart from your partner will allow for you both to reflect on your relationship and what factors may have led to the break up.
No Pity Parties!
Also during this time apart, your main goal will be to focus on one thing: you.
This is not the time to allow yourself to wallow in self-pity.
Quite the contrary, this time of separation should be used by you to pursue some of the following opportunities:
*allow your family and friends to help you through this difficult time
*take time to pursue hobbies and other interests that may have been neglected during your relationship
*begin/maintain an exercise program
*refocus on attaining your career and professional goals
Taking care of yourself will not only aid the healing process, but also allow for the nurturing of your self-esteem and self-confidence.
You will begin to realize that your life is not over because you have been dumped. You will see life has many opportunities to love and be loved again.
Consequently, after the 30 day separation period is over, you may decide that you want to try to reconcile with your ex. If so, have a plan!
Again, author T.W. Jackson’s The Magic of Making Up system is one of the best relationship guides available and offers many practical, effective tips for reconnecting with your ex.
Finally, whether you decide to attempt to get back with your ex or not, the most important benefit of a 30 day separation period is that you will most likely rediscover your most valuable asset: You!
Wishing you much success,
Terez Williamson
http://www.magicofmakingupebookreview.blogspot.com/